Angels All Around
I want to share a story with you from my past that may shed some light on some lingering questions you may have about faith and understanding. Rest assured what you are about to read is the truth as I know it.
There angels all around us keeping a watchful eye. Some will gently push, some will hold your hand, and if you listen very closely you can hear their song to you. My Grandmother, on my mothers side had 8 children, a husband, and was always as poor as she could be. Growing up in Texas, and being a farmers wife was no easy task, and all to often with all of those babes running around to look after, a very thankless job as well. Just about the time I was born they moved to Sunnyside Washington to continue farming and raise the last child. We lived in Seattle at the time and would visit for holidays, Easter being my favorite as so many of the relatives would join in for the kids easter egg hunts, and digging for money in the hay stacks. And Jesus Lord, my grandma could cook.
Our whole family revolved around my grandma, as she was the glue that stuck us all together. She always had something cooking just in case someone stopped by. She always had a quarter for the kids candy store, which really made my mom mad when she would sneak it to us. She was always joking and smiling, and her big Texas laugh was outrageously contagious. Her favorite card game was BS. I just loved it when she said BULL SHIT just as loud as she could, cause that is the only time we heard her swear. In my entire life I can not reccolect her saying one snide comment or gossip about another human being, ever. When she put that welcome mat on her front porch, by god she meant it. She truely was an amazing woman, dirt poor all of her life, but one of the weathiest women alive in love. She was not afraid of any thing, and had such a way about her, as if to say, c’mon…bring it on…..she was so tough…..If she ever did get down, we never saw it.
Now by the way I am referring to her in the past tense, you can conclude that indeed she has passed on, but as sure as I am sitting here writing this I know she watches over me, my Angel. Over the years she touched so many lives, and all those that knew her stood by her faithfully bestowing the same courtesy as they recieved from her.
After 65 years of marriage, my grandfather passed and left grandma a widow. She was undying in her faith in God and relied on him and her family to get through the tough time. It was no time until she was laughing and teasing again. Being a young adult myself I remember asking her what the secret of life was. Her reply was a whisper….”LIVE”. So simple, ahhh….but so very true.
As time passes we age, gracefully if we can, and all stories come to an end. If we are lucky, near the end of our lives here on earth, we should feel completement, with no regret. Near the end for grandma she got very ill with cancer. Cancer of the pancreitis, I believe. It is very painful, so I have been told. Near her passing, she looked nothing like her self, almost unrecognizable, with all of the weight she had lost. You could still tell it was her though, as soon as she opened her mouth. I could never understand why she never took any drugs for the pain, which you could see was bad. She relied on her faith to get her through it, and somehow prayer worked for her.
She was such a joker, even at her sickest. The last new years eve she had was in 2000. She was given a whistle to blow, if she was in any pain, or of in need of any help. The clock struck 12 on that new years, and as every one was asleep, here comes that whistle blowin’……..everyone rushed into her room and there she was with a shit eating grin on her face and said HAPPY NEW YEAR!, and laughing.
That visit had to come to an end, and as Robert (my husband) and I were 2 hours into our trip home to Seattle I had the sudden urge to go back. It was undeniably strong. I did not know why at the time, but Rob turned around anyway and headed back. When we got there I went inside and layed by my grandmas feet crying. I realized this was going to be the last time, the last good bye I would ever say to her. I felt so childlike and helpless. I held onto that damned woman as tight as I could, smelling her, so I would have that memory forever imprinted on my soul.
I don’t know where the courage came from but I knew I had to ask her a question. I knew that she was very religious, in her own quiet way, and I had never practiced any type of religion before. I sat before her, as I was trying to dry my tears, and asked her if when she got to Heaven, would she please let me know that she made it there okay. What followed was a big southern hug and kiss and the answer YES. One week later she passed away.
Some time had passed after her funeral, and I found myself still grieving. Not just for her, but for me and all that has happened in my life. I was sitting outside of my house on a bench on our porch on a warm summer day. And the most pleasent memories of her came flooding through my head. So I closed my eyes for a moment and just let them come. All of a sudden out of nowhere the windchimes started singing. There was no breeze, no wind, no clouds, no reason that they should be chiming. Perplexed, I listened. Wouldn’t you know it, those windchimes were playing The Yellow Rose Of Texas, my grandma’s favorite song. It was then, at that moment, that I had remembered our last moments together. She was finally home and at peace, where she was looking down on me and singing her song, my Angel. And just as suddenly as those windchimes started, when the last note was sung, it stopped dead.
She has popped up other times in my short life, to guide, support, and love. She pushes me ever so gently and I am ever reminded that she is never too far. Sometimes I even get a whiff of the perfume she used to wear.
I still do not go to church, or practice any one religion, but I am very spiritual, and thats okay with me. One thing I am very sure of though are that there are angels watching over me.
Dearest Cindy and Chas, I hope this letter finds you, and finds you well, and I will ask the angels to watch over you both with care, as I feel the future is going to be bumpy for awhile. All of my love to you both, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love to all,